Why are women automatically blamed when men refuse to parent?

I'm asking why when a question is posted here about men not parenting the majority of answers blame the women. She is blamed either preconception(she should have made a better choice) or after words b/c she forced him away. Why won't people hold men accountable for their own choices?


PS---since people read emotion when its not there I am not mad just curious.Why are women automatically blamed when men refuse to parent?
Because Eve ate the apple (at least according to a male-dominated mythology which pervades and controls our culture) and women are weak and everything is basically our fault.





Our society is male-dominated and we are sort of brainwashed to let men get away with a lot. Women are far more likely to attack other women than they are to judge males. It's a shame, but we live in a society where there is still a huge dichotomy between the sexes. Women are expected to strive for the ';Princess'; life and if they can't get it means they're somehow flawed.





I'm not saying that there aren't women who are crazy and drive men away... I'm just saying it's not always the case.





As for using birth control before pregnancy... why does that rest entirely on the woman? Why are men never responsible for making sure birth control is used?





To the woman above me... your husband didn't have to ';let go of what he wanted to stay with a woman he didn't want'; but he did have a responsiblity to be around for that child. Did the kid deserve to grow up without a father because your husband ';didn't feel like it';?





Sending a check is not being responsible... it's being a bank roll instead of a dad. I'm glad your children had the benefit of a father, it's a shame the other kid didn't. Being a dad doesn't mean you have to stay with a woman you don't love, but it does mean you love and care for your child.





I love how your husband abandons his child but the other woman is a ';psycho'; because of it. That's rich.Why are women automatically blamed when men refuse to parent?
The way society is set up I guess. Women are still blamed if the house is untidy. Not our fault if our hubbies can't close drawers or feel the need to drape their clothing all through the house. I think people have lower expectations of men when it comes to parenting. Most didn't have very good role models, so that doesn't help. Where do dads learn how to be dads if their's didn't do much other than pay bills? Not to say that that isn't important!
I'm the ';meat in the sandwich';, between my Husband and a one night stand who had his child.





The ';relationship'; was casual, they knew each other. Three months later he and I are together and she tells him she's having his baby. He told her he didn't want to be a dad but he would be financially responsible. She asked him if she should get rid of the baby, he told her it was her body so it was her decision.





When the baby was born they has a DNA test to confirm it was his child and he started paying support ($880 AU a month!).





He has never seen his son because that was the desision he made. She is bitter, twisted and tells lies because he doesn't want to part of the childs life. My husband was up front and honest with her and has paid child maintenance for the childs entire life, but according to some that's not good enough because he wasn't a father to the child. Women when they discover they are pregnent do get to decide if they want to be a parent men don't.





That was all 16 years ago. We are still very much in love have two beautiful children. Should my husband have let go of what he truly wanted to stay with a women he didn't love and play dad to a child he didn't want?





I wonder what others would consider to be the correct thing to have done. Is there a correct way to handle this situation?





You can't bundle ';everyone'; into a box and lable it. Because people are all so very different so is every problem, situation and out come.
I don't blame the mother. I don't know if saying that women are automatically blamed is a correct premise. I think most people can smell a deadbeat dad a mile away.





If you know someone who does this, they are WRONG!
I think they dont know facts.





no relationship is 50/50. Most women would kiss the ground for a 30% helper (mate). The kids turn out ok with 20% and even 10% fathers with the woman doing 90% of the work.





Its only the real loser fathers that turn out the crazy kids.


its nots the mother its the Father.