Friday, January 15, 2010

How is life different from being SINGLE to a PARENT?

\What did you give up? What are the sacrafices? Was it worth it? Did it cost a lot of money? I am thinking about being a father at 20.How is life different from being SINGLE to a PARENT?
To me, the sacrifices of being a parent have been worth it, but then again I was ready. If you are not ready, then the sacrifices will be burdensome to you and you will resent your new life, and possibly resent your child. DO NOT take parenting lightly, and do not just have a child because you think you are ready. This is a step in your life that will be forever.





When you can give up everything in your life....privacy, freedom, money, social life, etc etc etc and be 100% OK with it, then you are ready.How is life different from being SINGLE to a PARENT?
you make a choice. you can either grow up and be a good parent or continue to go out, party etc. and suck as a parent. dont get me wrong, you can still go out and have fun you just have to be careful not to have toooo much fun or forget what matters most. you have someone more important to take care of. is it worth it? yes indeed. theres nothing anymore rewarding. it does cost alot. your childs smile, hugs and kisses can make your day and life a much better one!!!!
I was married at 19 but didn't become a mother until 32 - that was my choice, because I wasn't ready for the responsibility. I am glad I waited. I did alot of growing up in the intervening years and by the time I was 32, I was ready to give up the independence of working and earning, the 2 holidays a year, the time to spend on my own without having to think about a helpless scrap of humanity that depended on me for everything. Being a father at 20 is not so demanding as being a mother but consider very carefully as you have to put your baby needs before your own. Your life with a child will be very different from your life without and if you're not yet prepared to make allowances (give up evenings out, money to spend on treats for yourself, including smoking and alcohol), wait until you are.
I can tell by the nature of your question that you are not ready for this big step.
you give up love


ti small to notice


you better believe it


you don't miss it


wait till your 25 you'll be more mature and able to handle it
Become a father when you're ready, both mentally and financially. yes it does cost allot, for diapers, formula, and cloths just for starters. As for the sacrifices, well you'll be spending a great deal of time caring for the child's needs and not just yours. Was worth it? Yes it is. My kids have added so much happiness in my life that having them is more than worth the petty little sacrifices that come with being a parent.
What did you give up? A lot amount of freedom and spontaneity





What are the sacrafices? You are no longer the most important person in the world. It revolves around somebody else.





Was it worth it? Yes





Did it cost a lot of money? You will not believe how much. Think of a number, double it, then add some more. Then school starts.





I am thinking about being a father at 20. Stay thinking for another 10 is my advice.
DON'T. Wait as long as you can before you give your freedoms up. It's beyond sacrificing. The demands are binding for at least 18 years of your life and think back to when you were a teenager which isn't a stretch, and remember the trouble with teenagers.


As far as cost yes it is expensive--I wouldn't even consider having a child until I had thousands of dollars in the bank and a reliable source of income and good insurance coverage for anything that could possibly go wrong. Ask your parents and other adult friends about their experiences with children. If they are honest and forthcoming they'll tell you the truth of it.
I have 3 beautiful children and I could go into how wonderful and beautiful they are and how proud I am of them. They are my true happiness and I it's really hard to think back to before I had them and recall what it was like without them. Sort of feel like they've always been with me. They are 12, 9 and 7.





I was 24yrs old when I had my oldest and I look at pictures of my husband and I back than and think ';we were just babies'; Lol It's so funny how time and aging works. Anyway... I was 20 when we got married but we agreed with each other that waiting 3 yrs would be ideal before starting to have children. So we waited and it was REALLY good that we did. We had that time together just us and when we started having our family we were ';ready'; for them, as ready as we could be. :D





Being a Parent is difficult!, it's the hardest thing I've ever done at times. Sleepless nights, worry, anxiety, money (lack of it), disappointments, etc... Sometimes i can completely understand why people choose to not have children.





As far as comparing it Single vs Parent there are sooo many good and bad things about both. Not really a comparison it's like comparing Summer and Winter they are just different seasons.





People say being a parent is a sacrafice, but I see it as a blessing. All the difficulties are there to help me grow as well so I'll be ready for my next season in life. We are all just learning along the way. I'm learning to be a parent, so I can help my children later on when they are parents when they come to me with advice or I'll be able to maybe help deal with my teenage grandaughter or grandson because I will have been down that road before. My children are just beginning on their wonderful learning experience and I am sooo excited to have a front row seat.





EDITED: I think that you asking this question shows you will be a good parent there is a maturity in that stepping back and assessing a big decision. I honestly dont' think I was as mature as you are at 20 when I was 20. hehe My husband had I met in Feb 1990 and married in June 1990. We did at least decide to wait 3 yrs to have children and that was really good for us. :D We have been married for over 16yrs now and are really glad we made the choice we did.





Anyway...talk with your potential childs Mom, is she ready? :D

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